Esper Sets World Fortune Bay Indian Taco Record!

Tower, MN Hail, Esper! Geoffrey Esper—spell his first name with a J at your peril, people—ate 29 Fortune Bay Indian tacos in eight minutes to claim the inaugural Fortune Bay World Indian Taco Eating Championship, setting the World Record in the discipline in the process.

Esper was as you have come to know and respect in the event: Clean, fast, simple. He eats with clarity and purpose. At the table, he is the living embodiment of the MED—Minimum Effective Dose—theory. He expends the smallest dose of effort to produce his desired outcome—anything beyond the MED is wasteful. For example, water boils at 100 degrees celsius at standard air pressure; water is not more boiled if you add more heat. Understanding this principle allows one to conserve resources and to allocate them toward increased productivity. Such as eating another Fortune Bay Indian Taco. And then another. Until you eat 29 of them and take the title, pipping the great Joey Chestnut by but one Fortune Bay Indian Taco at the buzzer. Gideon Oji would take third with 23.

When the history of competitive eating is written—and it will be written—the dominant theme of 2017 will be the rise of Geoffrey Esper. A rise from great to elite. The man from Oxford, MA, has gone in short time from one of the greats of our sport to one of but a handful of eaters, past and present, who can beat anyone, anywhere, in any discipline. Except shrimp cocktail. Dude doesn't like shrimp, apparently.

FULL RESULTS! 1st 29 Geoffrey Esper 2nd 28 Joey Chestnut 3rd 23 Gideon Oji 4th 11 Matthew Raible 5th 9 Sean Nichols, Mark Pedersen, Doug Porter 8th 7 Billy Copenace 9th 6 Jesse Sympson 10th 5 George Echum, John Tikkanen