Stonie Slams 200 Peeps In Five Min To Set World Peeps Eating Record!

One Peep? So innocent. So pure. So meek, perhaps. A quiet, sweet reminder of the Easter season's promise of renewal and new life in marshmallow form.

But 200 Peeps? In five minutes? That is not innocent. That is heroic. That is epic. That achievement can not be unknown. Say it loud and say it proud, people: Matthew Stonie, the #1-ranked eater in the world, ate 200 Peeps in five minutes at the inaugural National Harbor World Peeps Eating Championship in National Harbor, MD. In doing so, he took the trophy, bagged the cash and added World Record number 14 to his haul.

It would be stretching the truth to breaking point to say that Stonie did not enter this event as the firm favorite. Firmer, perhaps, than a frozen Peep in Iceland in February eating ice cream in a blizzard. Or something. And Stonie did what Stonie does—speed, baby, speed. His hands and mouth were like Torvill and Dean, for those who know their mid-80s British figure skating pairs references. Suffice to say, they were in perfect harmony. They were in synchronicity. They were one. He was fast and clean and smooth, like a carbon fiber hydrofoil trimaran skating atop a glass-top ocean faster than the wind can push it.

Pause. What did the Peeps do to deserve such a fate?

Fate. Destiny. Our lot in life. May we all have an end as glorious. Each and every one of the 200 Peeps that (who?) ended up inside the great stomach of Stonie started the day inside paper boxes, wrapped with plastic, inside a larger box, inside the corporate offices of National Harbor. A humble, pedestrian start to their day. They did not know their end. By 1.48pm that afternoon, they fell with a grace and dignity that cast nothing but glory on their kind. We salute each and every one of them.

Others ate less than Matthew Stonie, of San Jose, CA. That happens a lot. Full results below.

FULL RESULTS! 1 Matthew Stonie, 200 Peeps in 5 min 2 Geoffrey Esper, 160 Peeps 3 Juliet Lee, 140 Peeps 4 Michelle Lesco, 135 Peeps 5 Dud Light Dudzinski, 116 Peeps 6 Gideon Oji, 110 Peeps 7 Crazy Legs Conti, 75 Peeps 8 Larell Marie Mele, 58 Peeps 9 Wild Bill Myers, 51 Peeps 10 John Gonzalez, 40 Peeps 11 Nick Ricci, who came last, 17 Peeps

This contest* took place at 1pm on Saturday, April 2nd, 2016, at National Harbor, 137 National Plaza, National Harbor, MD 20745 , MD 20745!

About National Harbor! National Harbor is a community unlike any other. Situated close to the nation’s capital, National Harbor takes full advantage of one of the country’s most historic rivers. Rising from the banks of the Potomac River, just south of the Woodrow Wilson Bridge in Prince George’s County, Md., National Harbor is a 350-acre mixed use development with seven hotels (including the Gaylord National Resort and Convention Center and MGM National Harbor), offices, residential, tree-lined streets with more than 150 shops including Tanger Outlets, and more than 30 restaurants, iconic attractions such as the Capital Wheel and National Harbor Carousel, and much more. The community provides easy access to Washington, D.C. and features an array of waterfront activities and events and spectacular sunsets. For more information, www.NationalHarbor.com.