STONIE SHATTERS BIRTHDAY CAKE RECORD AT PALM BEACH OUTLETS FIRST BIRTHDAY PARTY!
That Matthew "The Megatoad" Stonie won the inaugural Palm Beach Outlets World Birthday Cake-Eating Championship will not surprise anyone paying attention to recent events in the MLE slice of World Affairs. He was the firm favorite going into the event and he emerged not only victorious but with a new WR to his name. Read it and weep, cake protectionists: 14.5 pounds of birthday cake in just eight minutes.
To help you visualize that number, imagine a piece of cake—say, one you might eat in the kitchen of a corporate office somewhere on the occasion of someone who works in accounts' birthday. Say you ate that cake and you truly enjoyed it. Maybe you took another slice when you thought no one was watching. Two slices and you would be good for cake. No more cake for you. No, sir. You would be all like, "Man, that's some good cake, but, hoo-whey, that's enough cake for me for one day, I can tell you." Well, Matt Stonie ate 29 slices of cake. If Matt Stonie worked at your office—perhaps in IT support or logistics—you would need to order a lot more cake, lest people who arrive late to the cake function because they were on a call with the Phoenix office miss out. They'd complain and gossip about it, so next time, just get more cake, okay.
The Palm Beach Outlets World Birthday Cake-Eating Championship was held in celebration of Palm Beach Outlets' first birthday. On hand to lend proceedings an appropriate gravitas was West Palm Beach mayor Jeri Muoio, who also shares her birthday with Palm Beach Outlets. Mayor Muoio was able to see first-hand the powerful voting constituency that is MLE fans and she will be sure to incorporate pro-competitive eating policies moving forward in return for our support at the polls.
Stonie was fast and smooth and debris-free throughout. It was textbook stuff from the slim-hipped prodigy. Eat bite of the delicious Whole Foods Markets vanilla birthday cake with buttercream frosting pushed him closer to glory. Miki Sudo was gallant for second but could not hang with the Megatoad after the third minute of the event. Nasty Nate Biller wisely saw to his considerable debris in the latter stages of the contest; a wise move made by a wise man. Others ate less. All were happy.
Full results below.
FULL RESULTS! 1st - $2,500 Matthew Stonie, 14.5lb in 8 mins 2nd - $1,200 Miki Sudo, 9lb 3rd - $650 Nate Biller, 6.5lb 4th - $350 Michael Jenkins, 5.5lb 5th - $200 Crazy Legs Conti, 5lb 6th - $100 Steve Glazier, a Weatherman, 4lb 7th - Michael Erthal - 3lb 8th - Eddie E, a radio DJ, 2.5lb 9th - Barry Rosenblum, 1.5lb
This contest took place at 1pm Eastern, on Saturday, February 14, 2015 at Center Court at at Palm Beach Outlets, 1751 Palm Beach Lakes Boulevard, West Palm Beach, FL.
Please note: This contest is restricted to participants aged 18 and over.
About Palm Beach Outletsl! Palm Beach Outlets is the perfect one-stop shopping destination. Featuring over 100 outlets including brand favorites: Saks Fifth Avenue OFF 5TH, J.Crew | crewcuts Factory, Ann Taylor Factory Store, Express Factory Outlet, Kenneth Cole, DKNY, Under Armour, and White House | Black Market, Palm Beach Outlets is located directly off I-95 in West Palm Beach. This beautiful, new development offers a completely different experience for area shoppers and is the only outlet center of its kind in the area.
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*All applicants must be 18 years of age or older and fully acknowledge and understand the inherent dangers and risks associated with participating in an eating contest. The applicant further acknowledges and understands that the MLE/IFOCE coordinates with event sponsor(s) to select and approve eligible participants, and that the MLE/IFOCE shall decide, at its sole discretion, whether an applicant is eligible to participate in any eating event, and/or related activities. The MLE/IFOCE may revoke an applicant's eligibility to participate in the eating contest, or related activities, at any time, for any reason, at its sole discretion. The MLE/IFOCE and the event sponsors reserve the right, at any time, to change any and all details concerning the event, including, e.g., time, duration, location and prize structure.