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IFOCE Research Division To Monitor Hungry Black Hole
3/3/2014

IFOCE Research Division To Join Scientific Community Studying March Black Hole Event

Gas cloud G2 to be consumed by black hole Sagittarius A*. IFOCE to monitor/condiser ramifications for human consumption

CLICK HERE to review IFOCE's formal proposal to utilize telescopes at Hawaii's Keck Observatory

CLICK HERE to watch NASA's timelapse video of supermassive black hole Sagittarius A* doing its thing

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New York, NY. Monday, March 3, 2014—The Research Division of the International Federation of Competitive Eating has announced that it will add its resources to the international scientific effort to study the consumption of a massive gas cloud by the black hole, Sagittarius A*, beginning in March 2014.

The IFOCE has budgeted the funding necessary to purchase a telescope with which to monitor the remarkable inter-galactic event, and is now searching for a location where it can conduct its observation unobstructed. The organization hopes to study the black hole’s consumption of the gas cloud in an attempt to identify intake methods that can be employed by humans to increase eating efficiency on earth.

“We understand that ambient light makes it difficult to see the stars, so we are searching for a location separated at a significant distance from human activity, such as Albany,” said George Shea, Head of Research at the IFOCE. “If this cannot be achieved we will simply ask for time from the Keck telescopes in Hawaii."

The gas cloud, named G2, has a mass some three times that of the earth, and is now approaching the black hole, whose mass is reportedly four million times that of our sun. At this point it is unclear how swiftly the gas cloud will be consumed, how large the resulting shock wave will be, and the type of radio waves that will be produced.

“Black holes have been described as ‘voracious feeders’ consuming cosmic matter and energy like hungry adolescents, but it is important to remember that the mechanics of the black hole and the human esophagus are entirely different,” Shea said.

Nonetheless, the IFOCE research team will be looking to determine if the gas cloud follows a tight circular course as it is sucked into the black hole. If so, this may illustrate a more efficient way to consume viscous substances such as Jell-O, pudding, grits, and soups in competition.

The IFOCE Research Division has a long history within the sciences and is acknowledged for two ground-breaking studies: The Belt of Fat Theory, which proved that fat people are poorly positioned to be competitive eaters because their fat restricts the expansion of their stomach, and The Chicken Wing Consumption Model, which identified the fastest way to consume chicken wings, and which is credited with saving Americans 500 million hours in previously lost productivity each year.

“The Sagittarius A*/G2 event poses unique new challenges for the IFOCE, whose members and staff have a limited background in physics, cosmology, astronomy, relativity, quantum mechanics, string theory and math,” Shea said. “However, we feel that this effort could elevate our institution to a new level within the scientific community.”