10 Questions for Super Paul BoneBreaker BigMouth PicassoBrush Barlow
MLE: Paul, your underground artwork recently hit the mainstream when it graced the cover of Badlands Booker’s new hip hop CD: Hungry and Focused 4: Fork, Knife, and Mic. How do you react to people who claim that you're selling out?
SPB: I've always wanted to sell out. It means I might actually be making some money!
MLE: The lion’s share of your art deals appear to be brokered through the website www.tropicmon.com. What is your relationship to the site, and are they at least giving you a cut of the proceeds?
SPB: I own the website, and 100% of the Tropicmon art money goes to a great cause, the SPBBBMB Stop the Poverty Foundation. This is a fund that tries to help me break the cycle of lower-middle-class status that I am stuck in, by providing me with occasional dribbles of cash, which I then invest in high-risk, high reward, lottery tickets.
MLE: Art historians have noticed similarities between Picasso’s painting Guernica, which depicts the Nazi bombing of Guernica, Spain, and your painting, Gurgitatornica. Picasso said the following about his work: “In the panel on which I am working, which I shall call Guernica, and in all my recent works of art, I clearly express my abhorrence of the military caste which has sunk Spain in an ocean of pain and death.” What comment would you make about your work?
SPB: "I try, in all my art, except some of it, to show my adorance of competitive eaters wallowing in an ocean of gas, beef, and pizza dough."
MLE: Your competitive eating personal-bests include 21 Krystals in 8 minutes, 11 Nathan’s HDBs in 12, and 10 waffles in 10. What eating feat are you most proud of, and why?
SPB: I am proudest of eating 21 Krystals on the University of Alabama campus recently, because I predicted Alabama would score two points for every one Krystal I ate. Alabama scored 41 points in the game against Tennessee, which meant that once again, my fearless food foraging forecast was practically perfect. That is why I have also earned the nickname "SuperPaul The Krystal Ball" in some circles. Some very small circles, specifically Coleman's Bar and Grill, where two people living there called me that....once.
MLE: The Tropicmon website claims that Paul Barlow is not only an author, but a hoser as well. Explain.
SPB: A hoser is someone who is, or may be, a meat-headed, fat brain, well-meaning, semi-knuckleheaded, handsome, mis-guided, SpongeBob Squarepants loving individual.
MLE: Tropicmon.com also shows a host of celebrities – such luminaries as Michael Jordan, Bill Clinton, and Emmanuel Lewis – hunting down SuperPaul for a photo. Does this ever get irritating? What stalker celebrity have you had to turn down for a photo op, and why? What was your favorite celeb run-in?
SPB: Many, many, times I have had to turn down beautiful supermodels who wanted more than just a picture, but then I woke up.
My favorite celebrity run-in was Jenny McCarthy, the Playboy centerfold turned actress turned autism advocate. I wanted more than a picture, but she turned me down. I actually made her laugh with me, not at me. It made me feel all funny inside, and I ruined my Depends. Another favorite was meeting Vendela Kirsebom, a Sports Illustrated swimsuit model. She told me she would never forget me, and the next two times I met her, she remembered me…after I reminded her of who I was.
MLE: If you were, say, an innocent Krystal burger staring down a ravenous SuperPaul, what would be going through your mind?
SPB: "He probably won't be able to eat those other 22 burgers ahead of me, so this is a very safe place to sit, if I want to stay alive!!"
MLE: Who do you predict will be the most improved eater on the MLE circuit in 2008?
SPB: If Dr. Bigtime, Juris Yabbadabbadoo, would stop drinking 5 million gallons of juice, water, Kool-Aid, or soda in every competition, he'd have a lot more room for food. Once he does that, he will be a Top Ten eater, and his shirts may stop being covered in Kool-Aid.
MLE: The word around the competitive eating campfire was that your nephews prevailed at the 2007 Nathan’s Famous neat-eating qualifier in Charlotte. Many contend that your coaching made this victory possible. What advice do you give to young eaters trying to come up in the game?
SPB: Make friends with Badlands Booker. That way, even if you never become a great eater, you can get mentioned, or sing, on a rap album.
MLE: In the rock band Sublime's song Santeria, the lead singer shouts: "What I really wanna say is I've got mine." Nobody knows what he means by "mine." If you were to sing the same thing, "I've got mine" what would you mean?
SPB: That would mean I have finally had a massive return on my lottery ticket investment fund, which I would have to turn over to my wife, so I may have to sing "She's got mine.”